Well, I am still here alive and kicking. Been having a tough time recently and havent had much patience or energy to blog much. Trying a new drug regime of pulsing different combos of drugs for ten days then off for three then pulsing another set of drugs for ten days. Herxing and muscle/joint pain like crazy and feeling under the weather for the most part.
To anyone reading this, I just want to say – it will be a long road to recovery for all of us and we all have to be positive no matter what stage we are at. For some of us recovery will be relative, for others it maybe a complete return to the life “normal”.
This is what I find hard to do, that is, live in the now and accept the fact that my life has changed. On good days I find myself accepting and living this life with new doors being opened to others via our commonality of our condition (be it with Lyme or other chronic diseases). On bad days I sometimes stick my head in the proverbial sand and deny that something (life) has changed without my input of will or choice. I am sure that I am not alone in the fact that I now have a life that has taken a different path than I had hoped for and the acceptance of this can be as hard to deal with as the disease itself. Maybe the fact that all diseases are unwanted is part of the condition, isnt it? I mean the fact that nobody wants or expects to get sick in the first place is part of the burden of any illness, that is, the unfairness and anger of – “no choice”.
I am lucky to have the ability to see a Pyschologist who specializes in pain and chronic disease management. I guess this is the point of my post today – communication and sharing in times of illness. I know not all readers will have the luxury of having a doctor (shrink) to be able to speak to for help and guidance but even if you have someone to listen to you who is not a professional, it may help to hear yourself verbalize your feelings and needs (for lack of a better term) to someone other than yourself. To hear the words aloud that you tend to internalize can be uplifting, therapeutic and a very powerful learning tool. So listen carefully to your own words that you share with others, these words can sometimes surprise you when you play them back to yourself.
So with that in mind, let people know how and why you feel the way you do, rather than sticking your head in a subterranean place when feeling isolated and not understood.
Anyway signing off but not before a shout out to my wife, best friend and fellow Lymie – Michelle – thanks for being you and always listening … xox.
Spirochetepete out . . . . .